Wednesday, June 01, 2005
the real you
it was just one of those days. the sun was brightly shinning and i had just got home from a long day. as i started to gather my things and head in, this burgundy car pulls up onto my driveway. it was him, i didn’t know what to expect but nothing could prepare me for what was to happen. he greeted me a wave and slowly stepped out of his car. suddenly his demeanor changed as he stood before me. tears started streaming down his cheek and you could see the pain and anguish written all over his face. he was a person defended, lost and ultimately broken. then he fell onto my shoulder and just cried. as we both stood on my front yard, i held him in my arms but had no words of comfort to say. all i heard over and over again was “i miss her will...,i miss her...” we must have been standing there for a good ten minutes when finally he started to walk away. i had never seen him like this in the twelve years that i’ve known him. i ran inside to get some tissue paper and told my mom that i was going for a walk. when i came out he was leaning against the garage and slumped over sobbing. i held his arm and gently lead the way to the park that was not too far from my house, all while trying to reassure him that everything would work out in the end.
we sat under a maple tree shaded from the glow of the sun and then he asked an unexpected question that caught me off guard...“how did I ever get over the lost of josie?” it was not something i was prepared to answer. the questions kept coming about me and josie and i tried my best to give him the “right” answer. it wasn’t until he asked me the final question that I could not give an answer to...“do you still love josie?”. wow...it blew me away. how am i suppose to answer that…there was a long period of silence thereafter before we both decided to leave our bug infested ground we sat on to retreat to a nearby picnic table. he handed me this flower that he had picked from the ground, it was pretty. as we sat down the tears started to flow again. it wasn’t as bad this time as we continued to just share with each other about all the things that have happened in the past. we even reminisced of those “good old days” when life didn’t seem so complicated and we were so carefree about of everything. there was a gentleness and genuineness about him that had been missing for so long. for the first time, it didn’t feel awkward anymore, but felt like how it use to be between us when we first shared a pillow together that night. by the end of the evening there was definitely a renewed spirit between us and a new hope for the future. it might take time but i honestly do believe that everything has happened for a reason and with time we’ll be able to enjoy the “big picture” that God has determined for you, me and especially karen. as for now, i’ll be continually praying for you and karen. i’m here for the both of you always and i’ll do my best to take care of karen while you begin a new chapter in your life.
we sat under a maple tree shaded from the glow of the sun and then he asked an unexpected question that caught me off guard...“how did I ever get over the lost of josie?” it was not something i was prepared to answer. the questions kept coming about me and josie and i tried my best to give him the “right” answer. it wasn’t until he asked me the final question that I could not give an answer to...“do you still love josie?”. wow...it blew me away. how am i suppose to answer that…there was a long period of silence thereafter before we both decided to leave our bug infested ground we sat on to retreat to a nearby picnic table. he handed me this flower that he had picked from the ground, it was pretty. as we sat down the tears started to flow again. it wasn’t as bad this time as we continued to just share with each other about all the things that have happened in the past. we even reminisced of those “good old days” when life didn’t seem so complicated and we were so carefree about of everything. there was a gentleness and genuineness about him that had been missing for so long. for the first time, it didn’t feel awkward anymore, but felt like how it use to be between us when we first shared a pillow together that night. by the end of the evening there was definitely a renewed spirit between us and a new hope for the future. it might take time but i honestly do believe that everything has happened for a reason and with time we’ll be able to enjoy the “big picture” that God has determined for you, me and especially karen. as for now, i’ll be continually praying for you and karen. i’m here for the both of you always and i’ll do my best to take care of karen while you begin a new chapter in your life.
If there are 1 million steps