in your first year of engineering one of the basic things they tell you during your freshman orientation is to look to your left and look to your right, by the end of the school term they won’t be in the program. itz funny at the time, but itz so true and in a lot of ways itz like life. as i start to look to the left and look to the right in my life, the people that i’ve shared great memories with once upon a time aren’t there any longer because either they’ve died or we’ve just grown so distant with each other. itz sad but so true.

i remember when i was going to tccc fellowship and was introduced to these two really cute twins. it was so hard to tell them apart but i naturally had a crush on one more then the other. we became great friends to the point that we both felt that a relationship would just hurt our friendship so we ended up just being great friends. when i left tccc we stayed in touch often but it wasn’t the same anymore. we had grown distant, and with time we just ended up going separate ways in our lives. we ran into each other during softball a few times and we always planned to meet up and do something official together. that never happened and the sad part of it all, is that it will never happen as she past away a few months ago in an car accident on her way back to toronto from waterloo. now when i look to the right, there is just one less person i see on that side and it hurts. i’m scared, i don’t want to look to the left because i honestly don’t want to see who’ll be missing on that side. itz hard to accept but itz inevitable that eventually everyone on the right and left will no longer be there but the bigger question is where will they be?

the bible clearly states that there are only two places: heaven or hell? as a child of ten or eleven, i remember watching this christian movie at church about the second coming of Christ. it depicted a typical normal society going about everyday activities like what we would do now in our lives minus all the fancy cool gadgets we have today. suddenly without warning one day the rapture came and all those who truly believed and accepted Christ as their personal Lord and Savior were taken and everyone else was left behind. those who were left behind were at first confused until they realized what had happen. then all you saw were people running in the streets yelling and screaming for God to save them but it was too late. i was freaked out back then and come to think of it, i’m pretty freaked out now. i can’t imagine how it will truly be but then again, when the time comes, itz not an experience that i want to have.

i use to go by the screen name heaven4ever as reminder to myself that the greatest joy on earth is the prospect of heaven. it was even my asian avenue name which didn’t work too well, as i would constantly get my guestbook tagged by guys that were trying to mack on me. i eventually abandoned that screen name for a more manly screen name and in the process lost sight of what was truly important in life. i mean when your young, you don’t give death or life after death much thought. when you’re young, you live this carefree lifestyle and you basically do anything you want with no worries of the consequences. you have this mentality that you are invincible, that nothing can hurt you and you’ll live forever. as you get a little older you start to realize that maybe you aren’t so invincible as you once thought you were. you start to feel the pressures of growing up and fulfilling the expectations that have been placed on you or those that have been set by you. you worry more as you try to juggle your social, academic and spiritual life. all while you experience the rollercoaster ride of your emotions from the great joys to the deep pains of a broken heart.

now that i’m little older, i’ve realized that somewhere along life’s highway, the busyness of life has taken me off course but i am thankful for these past two weeks of cd team which has definitely reminded me of the importance of having an eternal perspective again. for the past two weeks we’ve looked at two parables in the bible, the first being the parable of the ten virgins and the second being the parable of the rich man and lazarus. each with a central theme of death and being prepared for the second coming of Christ. we’ve been challenged many times by pui wing with questions like are you prepared for Christ second coming today? do you even look forward to His coming? whatz holding you back from being prepared?

itz been a very emotional rollercoaster ride for me these past two weeks as i have been doing a lot of soul searching in my personal life. i know that i have accepted Christ as my personal savior and thus assured of His saving grace but have i really lived the kind of christian life that He commands me to live. the parable of the rich man and lazarus makes it crystal clear that in life after death, there is nothing we can do to help those who reside in hell. as much as i want to show compassion for them itz too late. i think of all those people that are on the left and right of me that i’ll never see again even in life after death and itz scary. have i really made the kind of effort to share the gospel to them that God commands me to do. i think of all those people who come to church on a regular basis perhaps out of habit but haven’t truly believed, what will happen to them? i don’t know…

all i know, is that life is so fragile and when i get to the end of my life i don’t want to ever look back wistfully at all the times that was lost over trivial differences and regret that i didn’t do enough, that i didn’t make good choices, that i didn’t share the gospel to my frienz, and that i didn’t live the kind of christian testimony that God commands me to live. for so long i’ve been running from my fears and letting them have full control of me and hindering me emotionally and spiritually. there are things that i need to do that i have left unresolved for way too long. i’ve been coasting in life, effectively distracting myself time and time again because there is no sense of urgency but now there clearly is. so until He returns or calls me home, itz time to give God control of my fears and step into the light and live the life that God so blessed me with. itz time to life each day as tho it was my last because i know one day it will be.

"i expect to pass through this world but once.
any good thing, therefore, that i can do or
any kindness i can show to any fellow human being
let me do it now. let me not defer nor neglect it,
for i shall not pass this way again."

so whatz the beef with feet? they never get the respect they properly deserve. they carry our weight whatever that might be from place to place. for some they never see daylight while for others they are forced into strappy sandals that rub the wrong way all in the name of fashion. feet take a beating so letz not take our lowest appendages for granted. so, to all the feet haters i say to you, show some love, embrace your feet and go get a professional pedicure. when you go, might i suggest getting your feet buffed with a pumice stone or rotton stone. in addition to nail and cuticle work, don’t forget to smooth down those calluses and corns and exfoliate the skin. if you really want to pamper your feet go get a massage and get them dipped in paraffin, a soft wax with nourishing oils that rejuvenates dry, damaged skin thus, moisturizing the skin and giving your feet that soft, supple feel that was lost. finally, i’m going to once and for all squash this rumor that is flying around and that is: no, i do not have a foot fetish!... i do however enjoy taking pixz of feet of those who have made it clear that they hate feet...lol!(you know who you are!)
alrite, with that said, letz play a game(lol! I sound like becca!) below are pixz of feet, can you identify who they belong to? itz really not that hard as they are taken from people who are currently playing on a rhcbc softball team except for the last two pixz. the last two pixz are feet associated with someone who plays on a rhcbc softball team that have recently come to a team building event or an actual softball game. just add your two cents or tag the board with your answers. get them all right and you might just win a prize...lol!

it was just one of those days. the sun was brightly shinning and i had just got home from a long day. as i started to gather my things and head in, this burgundy car pulls up onto my driveway. it was him, i didn’t know what to expect but nothing could prepare me for what was to happen. he greeted me a wave and slowly stepped out of his car. suddenly his demeanor changed as he stood before me. tears started streaming down his cheek and you could see the pain and anguish written all over his face. he was a person defended, lost and ultimately broken. then he fell onto my shoulder and just cried. as we both stood on my front yard, i held him in my arms but had no words of comfort to say. all i heard over and over again was “i miss her will...,i miss her...” we must have been standing there for a good ten minutes when finally he started to walk away. i had never seen him like this in the twelve years that i’ve known him. i ran inside to get some tissue paper and told my mom that i was going for a walk. when i came out he was leaning against the garage and slumped over sobbing. i held his arm and gently lead the way to the park that was not too far from my house, all while trying to reassure him that everything would work out in the end.

we sat under a maple tree shaded from the glow of the sun and then he asked an unexpected question that caught me off guard...“how did I ever get over the lost of josie?” it was not something i was prepared to answer. the questions kept coming about me and josie and i tried my best to give him the “right” answer. it wasn’t until he asked me the final question that I could not give an answer to...“do you still love josie?”. wow...it blew me away. how am i suppose to answer that…there was a long period of silence thereafter before we both decided to leave our bug infested ground we sat on to retreat to a nearby picnic table. he handed me this flower that he had picked from the ground, it was pretty. as we sat down the tears started to flow again. it wasn’t as bad this time as we continued to just share with each other about all the things that have happened in the past. we even reminisced of those “good old days” when life didn’t seem so complicated and we were so carefree about of everything. there was a gentleness and genuineness about him that had been missing for so long. for the first time, it didn’t feel awkward anymore, but felt like how it use to be between us when we first shared a pillow together that night. by the end of the evening there was definitely a renewed spirit between us and a new hope for the future. it might take time but i honestly do believe that everything has happened for a reason and with time we’ll be able to enjoy the “big picture” that God has determined for you, me and especially karen. as for now, i’ll be continually praying for you and karen. i’m here for the both of you always and i’ll do my best to take care of karen while you begin a new chapter in your life.