i feel so much more fulfilled this day then i have in such a long time. it must have something to do with breaking away from my usual routine of playing yugioh at pmall for hours. not that i don’t enjoy it cause i very much do but lately i’ve been so consumed with my own selfish plans that i’ve totally neglected those friendships that have made me into the person i am today. the worst part is i’ve known this fact for awhile now but continue to just fall into the same trap of my everyday routine. case in point one...i promised my friend rudy that i would go chill with him when i saw him at the passion concert nov. 22/05. itz been like almost 3 weeks and i haven’t even called him to arrange anything. the worst part is, i don’t even have any excuses to give...i’m such a bad friend. in the end, i got an email from him asking me why i hadn’t called him yet and of course i had no answer to that. so, finally today, we meet up at a Japanese all you can eat restaurant along with becca and allen.

it was a great time of fellowship together and the food was excellent even tho they somehow managed to always miss out on one item we ordered. if it wasn’t the spicy salmon roll, it was the shrimp tempura or something else. that crispy salmon skin roll was so yummy! anyone, wanna take me again? lol! after filling up our bellies we stop by canadian tire and headed to second cup. i was totally surprised when my old time friend Ann also joined us for some drinks. case in point two...i’ve seen ann only twice in the past two years and both of them at t.c. and each time i’ve gotten her celi digits and promised to call to arrange a time to catch up and do something together. well, i never ended up calling so whatz my record now? like 0-2 or 0-3 because it happen twice with ann...i’m starting to sound like the raptors. with that said, seeing her was so refreshing because itz been too long since we spend more then two minutes together. can i even use the word friend? sigh! before she left we talked about getting together during the christmas holidays so hopefully i can break this disappointing trend. should i ask her to christmas dinner? hmmm...

in the end, our group that started with five dwindled down to two, rudy and i. we talked, got caught up and actually had a conversation that didn’t centre around our past significant other. rather it was more focused on God and building up a better relationship with Him. that was amazing because i can’t remember the last time something like this happening between us. i’d probably have to go back to the days when we shared a pillow together under the musty smell of our retreat cabin out in the wilderness. i like the direction things are going with him but can’t help but feel there is still a lot of pain buried deep inside of him. i personally know itz something that will take a very long time to recover from but i have faith in him that he will be a better person because of it all. i’m praying for you...